Father God

            Peter: Steph Williams!  Is what I heard for days leading up to her speaking.  Sadly, I didn’t realize who Steph Williams was until she got on stage whereupon I noticed she was the RD for Heritage.  I don’t think I’ve ever said a word to her before nor her to me, but many of my friends spoke well of her, so I was anticipating a good chapel.  I was not disappointed.  She spoke coherently, as well as sincerely of God the Father, as the Father was her given topic to speak on.

Her main point was that we should deconstruct our concept of fatherhood to better understand the perfect fatherhood of God.  While I disagree with the explicit statement-- I don’t think many of our concepts of fatherhood are inaccurate, merely unmet in our biological fathers-- I must say that she brings up a very good point, in that God extends beyond our typical concept of father.  Steph attempted to drive her point home, that our concept of ‘father’ was an insufficient one by having those with fathers who mistreated them, or those fathers who weren’t there growing up for whatever reason, or those who didn’t have the best relationship with heir fathers, stand up in chapel.  Then she told those who had ever been disappointed by their fathers for whatever reason at any time to stand up.  To be honest I was shocked at the fact that I appeared to be the only one still sitting.  I realized then how very blessed I am to have such a perfect father.  Steph said having such a father was ‘impossible,’ which would make my father Peter Graves.  Honestly, I racked my brain, but couldn’t think of one instance where my father disappointed me.  Ever.  Even in disagreements it was always clearly apparent to me that I was dearly loved, and I never remember getting into a fight with my father, ever, even when we did disagree.  So I cannot fathom what it would be like to not have a perfect father much less a father in God better than my earthly father.  My father never failed to love me and to direct me to God, it was never about my father, it was never about me; it was about God. 

But back to chapel.  So I was sitting there wondering at the awesomeness of my father, and how it was that God could be more, and Steph brought up a good example of how much our heavenly father loves us, and that was by drawing the example of adoption by Roman law.  According to Roman law (according to Steph) it was legal for a father to disown a son, unless he was an adopted son, in which case there was no legal way for the master of the household to disown him.  In a way, she said, that was what God did for us: He sent his Son to die so that we may gain an inheritance as Children of God.  That kind of love is just one example of how God’s fatherhood extends beyond our typical institution of fatherhood.  Even though there were statements she made such as ‘as long as children are underage they’re basically slaves,’ ‘we need to project onto God who he is,’ and ‘Bethel tells us we’re the only one who ever had a problem’ (definitely not true), she didn’t dwell too much on any of these in favor of depicting how God’s love for us as children is profound, which it is.  And like I said in my previous post, God’s Love is, I believe, the ultimate message of the Bible, Christ, and of God himself, so whenever somebody emphasizes God’s love I’m pretty appreciative.  Two thumbs up.

Tim: It seems that so far this year, Friday is the day for stellar chapels. Steph Williams spoke, and she has long been one of my favorites. I don’t know if it’s because she’s been an RD for several years and is very familiar with students or what, but her messages are always great. She talked about the God the Father, with an emphasis on how our concept of the Father is different depending out our context. She did a couple different things with that but I felt like the main thrust of her message was addressed to those who grew up without a father or had a bad relationship with their fathers. She said essentially that we need to do our best to avoid projecting our earthly father on God, and let him show us who he really is. To illustrate that idea, there was a guy painting over a painting of a father, leaving a clean canvas, on which God would draw his own picture of himself. Only then could we know him and what he thinks of us. Through that, know ourselves and could then best worship God for who he is. I got a little lost in that flow of logic, but I think the main part of it makes sense.

I don’t know Steph Williams personally, but I’m thrilled that she’s at Bethel and that she takes the time to speak to us from time to time. She doesn’t just talk to us, she engages. She’s open about her own experiences, both good and bad. She makes me (and I think a lot of students) feel like she knows us and we can know her. I think she should speak at more chapels.

More than anything else, today’s chapel produced a profound thankfulness in me. I feel like I wasn’t really the intended audience, because I didn’t grow up having little or no relationship with my dad. But I know a lot of people haven’t been as blessed, including some of my close friends. Having seen how hard it is growing up without a father, I am extremely grateful that she gave the talk she did. And for one of the first times in my life, I was actually happy with an audience participation element! She asked all those who grew up without fathers, whether literally or just with no relationship, and anyone who has friends in that situation to stand up. I stood, because I have a good friend whose father passed away. Just like she intended, it was a comfort to know that my friend wasn’t alone in her loss. As I stood there looking out at all the others who were standing, and really throughout the whole message, I couldn’t help but to think about was how blessed I am to have grown up with my father.

While she talked, she mentioned something that hit home to me and again made me realize how blessed I am. She pointed out that as we grow up, our identities are shaped largely by our parents. What they say about us, whether they have time for us, whether they enjoy our presence, and so on, are crucial to our ideas of ourselves. She was suggesting we let those things go which have taught us negative views of ourselves. Instead we need to let God tell us who we are without the interference of others. I agree, but I just want to acknowledge the positive side of the same coin.

I was blessed with awesome parents whose actions did frame a lot of my identity. But I think the messages I got from them are much like the messages God wants me to get. They were not a hindrance, but an asset to learning who I am in God’s eyes. After two decades of living with me, it’s still easy for me to see the joy in my parents’ eyes when they see me. I see how proud they are of me, even when they have no reason for it. I’m so grateful to and for my parents, because they have shown me God in their relationship with me. I’ll never know what it would be like not to have an earthly father that reflects my heavenly Father, but I hope my blessing will flow over into the lives of those less fortunate.

As a final remark, let's not forget the great responsibility fathers have to show their children the love of the heavenly Father. And let’s never take that for granted. A sad many people in this world grow up promising themselves “I’ll never be like my father.” I have grown up praying and hoping and dreaming that one day, I WILL be like mine.